Pickwick State Park - Family Time

The last weekend in February, Henry & I went to Pickwick State Park to meet with Bill's sister, Alice, and her husband, Miles.  Bill couldn't make it this trip since he was conserving vacation days for the beach trip in May.  We had a great low key visit full of quality time.  We stayed in one of the state park cabins.  It was the first time I'd ever been in them and if you're wondering, they were small, older cabins, but very clean and well laid out.  We were pleased with the cabin & would stay there again. 

Anyway, we had a great time playing on the playground. 

 Henry loved the swings.

 And he loved playing in the rocks!

 But his favorite was the slide! And he got everybody in on the action.

                           

He took Aunt Alice all over the place.

 And chased her around the cabin for a long time.

More rocks!

We went down to check out Pickwick Dam.  This was Henry's first visit of many to the Dam.  There will be lots of fishing & hanging out here in his future.

 Look at all these rocks!

 He & Aunt Alice played chase up and down the walk way. 

 We got to see people catching lots of fish.

 Henry thought the water looked like a fun place to play!

 More playground fun!

 And Aunt Alice & Uncle Miles brought a bubble gun!

 Henry really likes rocks.

 And had even more fun sliding all by himself! Who needs a baby slide?

 Henry was pretty good at scaling this wall.

 We had a great visit & will have to go back there again!

Long Distance Love-Marriage-Family-Life

After my last post of our house in the nightmare state that we purchased it in, I need to take & upload some pics to show you what's going on inside currently so that you don't worry about our health & safety, lol.  I promise I'll get to it...no promise on when.  I'm extremely random in posting.  Most days I don't feel like I have anything exciting to share, but it occurred to me while reading some my favorite blogs that I enjoy reading about the everyday stuff that we all go through.  It doesn't have to be exciting...sometimes just knowing that you're not the only one who's been there and done that is helpful & everyday mishaps can be quite entertaining.  So, basically, I may start posting more of just what's going on in our little lives.  Read along if you like & comment if you feel compelled.  :)

Warning: This post is about my experience & is my opinion.  I do not claim to be an expert in relationships...or anything else.  Also, it's long. Lol!

Anyway, I wanted to talk today about our long distance situation.  In case you don't know, my husband & I have been living 6 hours apart for 9 months now.  We are waiting on his job to transfer him closer to home.  He works for the TDOT (Tennessee Department of Transportation) regional headquarters in Knoxville.  The closest regional headquarters to us now is the Jackson, TN one which is about an hour away.  There are also positions in some of the bordering counties which would be closer.  When we started this whole moving/tranferring process, we were told it would take about 2 months for Bill's transfer to happen.  So, we went ahead and sold the house in Knoxville, moved Henry & I down here, and found & purchased a fixer upper in Corinth.  We thought we'd have about a 2 month separation until the transfer was completed.  We completely over-estimated the state's efficiency.  We knew they were slow, but several of the 'higher-ups' gave Bill the impression that a transfer would be no problem & shouldn't take too long.

Well, here we are 9 months later.  It's been hard.  In some ways it is exactly as hard as I imagined (like raising a baby basically by myself from day to day) and in other ways it hasn't been as hard as I thought.  Today I'm sharing some of the key reasons that we are getting through this long-time, long distance marriage & family life.  

• Your spouse:  The key ingredient in making a long distance marriage work, whether planned (like a military deployment) or unplanned (like our situation) is to marry the right person in the first place.  I'm serious.  If you're not with the right person, this will be exponentially harder.  I married the right man for me.

• Communication:  Obviously, communication is important even if you see each other every day, but it becomes even more important to connect when you're so far apart.  Don't leave each other out of the loop.  Some days we don't have much to say and other days we have a lot to discuss, but whatever the case make sure you take time to laugh together.  On top of being my husband, Bill is my best friend.  
• Trust:  I could not do this if I didn't trust Bill (& vice versa).  He has never given me a reason not to trust him & I believe that he is completely dedicated to our family.  There is enough to worry about in everyday life (Did I unplug my hair straightener? Did I put diapers in Henry's bag?  Did I feed the dogs?) without wondering if your spouse is running around on you. Can I get an AMEN?  I can't imagine trying to function with that kind of burden on me...thankfully, I've never worried about that with Bill.  I'm not saying he's perfect, but our communication is a constant reassurance that his heart is with his family.  We also have to trust each other's decisions.  I have to make decisions every day for our family without calling Bill to discuss them.  Knowing that Bill trusts me gives me the confidence to make those decisions.  We also trust that the other person will take the time to call & discuss decisions that require more thought.
• Respect:  Like communication & trust, respect is important in every relationship, but I've realized how much more you must respect each other when living so far apart.  There are many ways that respect needs to be shown in a long distance relationship, but the one that has become so prevalent to us is that you must respect what each person is contributing to the relationship.  I know that Bill respects my roles as a working mom, wife, & homemaker.  He respects the strength it takes and the decisions I make in my roles...as I do for him.  In my situation, I've also had people tell me how great I am to take on raising Henry basically by myself & handling everything for the family.  I appreciate the kudos, however, I can't help but think that sometimes they are looking at me like a hero while assuming that my husband is just playing around in the city.  Let me be clear...Bill is making a huge sacrifice for our family every day.  His role may not be as obvious on the surface, but I think what he does every day is harder than what I do in some ways.  He has to live away from his family, in someone else's house, waiting for news about a transfer every day.  He would love to just quit his job and come on down, but he stays because we need him to.  His job provides our family with insurance, a needed paycheck, and he is almost half-way to retirement with the state.  He stays because his family needs him to.  Can you imagine only getting to see your child every few weeks, sometimes longer?  It's very hard on him.  I respect the sacrifice he is making for us & don't take it lightly.

• Faith:  While you need faith in your spouse, I'm talking about faith in God here.  Since the night Henry was born, God has taught me to fully trust in Him and have faith in His way & His timing.  I don't know why we are going through this separation for this long.  I don't have to know.  I trust that God's plan is better than ours and His timing is perfect.  Don't get me wrong...sometimes I get frustrated.  But I take a deep breath and have faith that He has a plan.  I believe we are going through this for a reason.  Maybe He is using this experience to strengthen our marriage by teaching us the lessons I've listed in this post.  Maybe our experience will serve to help another couple in the same situation.  Maybe we haven't yet learned the purpose.  Maybe we won't ever see the purpose.  It doesn't matter.  I have faith that God will somehow use this experience in our lives or for His glory in some other way.  I take a deep breath and thank God for working in our lives and using us.  And then I pray that His plan will bring my husband home soon.
• Family:  This separation would not be possible without amazing family and friends.  For starters, Bill would be completely homeless.  He had offers from more than one family member to be able to stay with them during this process.  None of us knew it would take this long, and we are EXTREMELY GRATEFUL for their patience and sacrifice for our family.  I don't know what we would have done without them.  We can't afford rent or a mortgage in both places, so I'm truly not sure where we would be right now without them.  I cannot imagine having someone living with us for that long.  I don't know that I would have been so graceful in the same situation before this experience.  We've both learned humility, patience, and a new level of appreciation from this experience.  We're at a complete loss for how to express thanks to our family that's taken him in for the last 9 months.  How do you adequately thank someone for housing you/your husband for 9 months (with no idea how much longer this will take)?  Seriously...Hallmark doesn't have a card for that.  Maybe we will win the lottery, lol.  I don't know, but I hope we can find some way to return a portion of their generosity.  Also, Henry & I couldn't find anywhere to rent that was clean and affordable when we got to Corinth.  We were out of time & had to put most of our stuff in storage and live in a room at my parent's house for a couple of months.  Living with a baby is not the easiest task in the world.  We had to move and change things in every room of their home to Henry-proof it.  Everyone's schedules and routines were effected in some way.  Thanks mom & dad!  I know you're glad to have your house back!  

Note:  I've not posted pictures of most of the awesome people who deserve props because I'm not sure they want their picture or names plastered on the internet.

• Friends.  Our friends (some of which are also family) have kept us sane through this process.  Bill has been able to hang out with his friends here and there and it's been a huge boost in keeping his spirits up while he's away from his family.  I got to Corinth just in time for the busy season at work and haven't gotten to connect with my friends nearly enough, but outings every now and then have kept me from feeling like too much of a hermit.  Thanks, Mackenzie!  I'm fortunate to have a small group of friends from high school that time & distance has not effected.  Even though I don't get to see or talk to them as much as I'd like to, we are there for each other always.  Conversations with these girls have kept me afloat when I've felt overwhelmed.  Thanks, ladies!

There are so many more things that matter and people who deserve standing ovations than I can list here.  I just wanted to share a little about our experience and some things I've learned that I hope someone else will find useful or uplifting.  Please say a little prayer for us to be reunited soon!  Thanks!

Home, At Last

So, we bought a house last year.  It was a long, frustrating process because it was a foreclosure (just like the last house we bought).  This house is in a great neighborhood, but needs A LOT of work.  We have slowly been chipping away at projects to make the house livable (all the money-hogging invisible stuff that has to be done for the house to be safe & livable, like plumbing, electrical, HVAC work and TONS of cleaning!).  This place was seriously nasty when we bought it.  Henry wasn't allowed to be in the house for a few months after we bought it.  We still stayed at my parent's house while we waited for the unsexy house stuff to be completed.  Then, we had to pull up all the gross carpet...it was everywhere and had clearly been there forever.  Major sinus infection followed.  We had to air out the house.  There was a mold issue in the bottom part of the house that we had tested...thankfully, it was only surface mold & not dangerous.  We bleached everything!  Then had to air out the house again.  We pulled down wall paper, primed over wild colors, and threw up a fresh coat of paint on almost everything.  Bill & I laid flooring for the first time...I thought for sure one of us would kill the other before that project was over, but we actually made a really good team & knocked it out over 2 days :).  We've done so much work.  My little paragraph doesn't even begin to describe it.

Please feast your eyes on the following pictures for a better idea of what we're dealing with:


This is the living room/dining room at the front of the house.  Gross carpet, right?

This is the other side of the same room.  This room was in the best condition of the house.  You read that right...it goes downhill from here...

This is the kitchen.  Say hey to Henry!  This was the only time he came into the house before we moved in & he never left that seat.  We had already started trying to remove wallpaper in here only to reveal paneling.  You like that paper?  Goes good with the green counters, green floors, oh...and that pretty gold fan.  In this picture, the cabinets appear to be white.  I believe they were white at one time, but they were more of a yellowed white...there was an incredible layer of grease and gross all over them.  I'm not even going to tell you about all the nasty stuff we found under/beside/behind the stove...seriously....I wanted to burn the house down & start over.  It was bad.

Kitchen wall across from the cabinets.

In all it's glory.

A better pic of the colors in that wallpaper...just for you!

Oh, I had forgotten about the border...there was border, too!  Isn't it amazing how pictures can bring back memories.

This beautiful room is in the middle of the house.  It's a den, I believe.  It has no windows.  *heavy sigh*

This used to be an exterior window to the back yard.  When they enclosed the carport/garage, they just left the window, painted over it & added shelves to this side of it.  Yep.

 

This is the small hall in the top part of the house.  There are lots of doors in this little hallway.  It joins 2 bedrooms, a bathroom, the living room, the den, and it has two small linen type closets.  7 doors in this little hall.  The ceiling also holds the entrance to the attic.

This is the main bathroom.  It's small, but functional.  The shower is behind the door on the left.  All of the tile in this room is a light, pastel yellow.  I'm not complaining...could be worse.  Wait til you see their other color choices!

 They even painted ivy on the mirror to go with the border.  Cute, right?

I'm not sure how I missed getting before pictures of the bedroom colors, but this is the room that is now Henry's room.  It was very bright red with a white, scroll-type border.

 It does have a nice sized closet!

You can sort of see remnants of the red paint.

 This is the bedroom that Bill & I now use.  It has a small attached bath.  I'm really sorry I didn't get a picture of the colors that were in this room.  All of the walls were bright purple, except that back wall...it was an accent wall painted in lime green.  Yes.  Wait...it gets worse...there was also a border in this room.  Well, it was sort of a border...it was hot pink and black, zebra printed duct tape!  I'm not joking!  It went around the whole room.  Wait, wait, wait...I've got to tell you about the matching bathroom & closet.  Yep, those were both decked out in a bright pink.  I'm serious...keep scrolling down...there's pictures of the bathroom.

 Ta-da!!  Pretty, right?

Check out that toilet seat!  What are those blue stripes under the top cover, you ask?  Well, that's Ole Miss duct tape, of course!  Isn't that what everyone is using these days?

 Another view.  Look how gross that trim is...nasty!!  How about that weird light fixture?  It was actually in both bathrooms.

I will never understand why they put a full vanity in this tiny bathroom.  I can barely get on the toilet without hitting my knees when I sit down.  Too much info??  Ha!

I wanted you to get a better view of that light fixture. Vintage?  Retro?

This is another view of the small hallway.  It's very dark.  We need a better light.

This is the long hallway in the added on portion of the house.  That door is the one we come in & out of every day from the carport area.  That jutted out wall on the right is the back side of the fireplace from the den.

More border!!

Well, that's all I'm showing for now.  There's a whole other mess in the rooms on the other side of that hallway.  I'll give you some time to digest the mess you've seen so far.

 You're probably wondering why in the world we would buy a house that needed so much work (& you've only seen a portion of it!).  I'll be honest...there have been plenty of times that I questioned what we had done!  Only recently, after about 4-5 months of living here now, have I finally started to see the real potential.  I'm finally to the point that I've accepted that this house needs a lot of work, that will cost a lot of money, and take a lot of time to get done.  I'm ok with that.  We are in a good neighborhood.  We're close to family.  We are here.  We've been planted.  We will make this a home.

The fact that Henry will grow up here is my main motivator to make this house into our home.  I want it to be comfortable, colorful, & fun.  I want him to feel safe & loved here.  I want him to enjoy having friends over & spending time here.

I hope you'll follow our journey!